Do you give your children pocket money? B, who’s eight, has been asking for months and months now to start having pocket money and so far I’ve managed to put her off, saying I’ll have a think about it. The main reason for dithering is because I’m just not sure how to handle the whole pocket money idea – so I thought I’d ask you. How do you deal with pocket money in your family? Here’s what I’m wondering about – and I’d really love to have your input.
- I don’t want to encourage the girls to be ‘consumers’ as we try to mainly buy what we need rather than thinking of things we could spend money on. Yes, we buy things of course, but we’ve never had ‘shopping’ as one of the things we do for fun. I make most of our purchases online, or buy from local shops but usually when the girls are in school. We have new toys mainly as birthday and Christmas presents and use the library for books, so I almost feel that if we started giving pocket money we’d actually have to create trips to the shop just to give them the chance to buy something with it, which I don’t want to do.
- Should pocket money be linked to doing chores so the girls learn about working hard to earn money – or should they be expected to do chores as part of their role within the family anyway? No-one pays me to do the ironing!
- Should they be given certain amounts for each task, or an overall allowance for completing all their tasks. I could easily imagine a certain person deciding never to keep their bedroom tidy because they don’t really need the 50pence they’d get for it!
- What would they have to use their pocket money for? Just treats or things including Brownie subs, the tuckshop at school, family and friends presents? Is it best to let children spend their money however they like and learn their own lessons when it runs out , or set rules about how much goes on treats, how much is saved and how much is given to charity?
- What about younger sisters? Is L too young at four to receive pocket money or is it unfair to give it to an older sibling but not a younger one?
- How much pocket money would I give?
So many questions! Will you help me out? How do you handle pocket money in your family? What works for you and what problems have you encountered?
My four year old gets pocket money. Not very much. Never more than a dollar or two. But it seems to make him feel very important to get to have a wallet full of his own money. He is expected to help out with chores that he can do on his own. He does not get an allowance. I just give him some change or a dollar or so when I see his wallet is empty or it has been a little while since I have given him some money. I don’t tell him how to spend his money. He almost always chooses to donate it to a charity. He sometimes saves up to buy a Matchbox car or a small toy for one of his sisters. He sometimes asks to contribute to a large purchase that we are making for him (a large toy that is far too expensive for him to save for. He will pay with whatever money is in his wallet and we will pay for the rest) My two year old daughter asks for pocket money and I have no problem with giving her some, too. (she is past the age where she puts things in her mouth. it’s not a choking hazard at all.) She always asks to put it in a piggy bank as soon as we are at home. I have never had to discourage them from spending money on something that I don’t find appropriate. And we try to avoid consumerism. I don’t find that this promotes it at all. My son is happy to hold onto his money until he finds something he really wants to spend it on. We never make special trips to the store just to spend money on account of our children spending money.
We haven’t done pocket money at all, yet, but we have let our kids earn small toys as rewards for doing things that are difficult for them (not waking us up at night, potty training…)
I don’t have all the answers either, and I think a lot depends on the personality of the child, but whether we like it or not, children have to live in a materialistic world, and it’s important for them to learn about money and be responsible about it. They say that children who have been given their own budget grow up to be much better able to handle money when they do start earning. Personally I’m a great believer in allowing children to spend their pocket money how they choose, with advice from parents but not rules. If they splurge it all in one go, then they have nothing to spend later, and they learn a lesson. If your daughter has nothing she needs, then encourage her to save it – at some point there will be something she wants, and if she has some of her own money put by she can use it.
In terms of chores, I’m a bit divided here myself. As you rightly say, there are some things that children should be expected to do regardless. I don’t like the idea of kids being taught that everything has its price, so my theory is that payment for any chores should only be for things that are above and beyond regular chores.
Just my ha’penny worth – well you did ask!
Thank you so much for your replies. I think B would be quite careful with how she spent her money – I think she would save it to buy new books. I’m pretty sure we are going to start giving her some because I agree it will be an important lesson to learn to manage her own spending. I’m still wondering about how much to give and whether to tie it to any chores or not though.
My son is 7 and he doesn’t get an allowance – yet. I’m trying to hold off, for a lot of the reasons you mentioned. When we do give him an allowance it won’t be tied to chores though. I do believe that stuff gets done around the house because it needs to be done, not because you get paid for it. Like you said, I don’t get paid for it! But I also *do* have ‘pocket money’. At the moment he wants a particular toy which costs around $10 and is saving money to buy it. Hard when you don’t have a regular source of income! But he is planning a toy shop – he did this a year ago and made toys for it and also sold a few small toys he didn’t want and we invited friends over and they bought stuff. Things cost like 25 cents, no more, so it was a bargain! All his idea. I also pay him 50 cents for a 5-minute head massage! (Totally does not count as a chore, heh!) My mom did this with me when I was a kid so I figured I may as well continue the family tradition. Of course now I’m loving these head massages and will probably end up financing a bloody Wii or something! (Not that I have the money for that!)
My two older two girls are 8 and 6 and we have no formal pocket money system. If they do want to earn money we offer them other jobs such as $1 for a bag of weeds or $2 to vacuum the car. I have heard of a family that gave a set amount regardless but if a bed was not made they had to pay the family member who had to do it for them.
Baba my niece and nephew all get pocket money from my dad, £1.50 a week each and they all have done ever since they have been born. It all goes into their banks. Baba used some for holiday money. But with my sister and nephew they are five and nine now, it is used for things. If they are really really naughty Grandad wont give them money. However they save it and use for holiday money, or they have just got into Nintendo DS and they got their usual birthday money from my sister and my niece had to add the rest that was needed to buy one out of her pocket money. I hope this might give you some ideas xx
Now I *do* like the idea Ruth suggests at having to pay the person who did your chore for you – would that mean B and L would be racing round doing each other’s chores to clock up more cash?!
It’s an interesting topic, and my husband and I had a lot of discussions about it even though our daughter is only 4 and not really interested in money. I think that in principle allowance have to be meaningful and not related to chores. It’s more a way for a child to learn to save, spend and share wealth. My husband has fond memories of learning how to save by blowing all his allowance on candy 🙂
We are not quite there yeat at giving pocket money but it is good place to start in teaching about money and how everything costs a value.
I like the idea of awarding pocket money at the end of the week if all desirable behaviours are met.